2003-08-24 - 5:01 p.m.

Three entries in a month? Gracious me.

I'm still working my way up to....if not a regular updating schedule, then semi-regular. The Submissions Book is at an all time low (probably my fault for failing to update), so please spread the word to your friends--we need your searches!

But enough about me, on with the oddness!

From Helb: girls are elastic
i guess that's the "everything nice" the nursery rhymes were talking about.

From Daemonchild: andrew you are so sexy please send me some more pictures love OR you please talk to me
i had no idea that this picture thing was included in the new features our illustrious Host was talking about.

From Mis: Tangled Colon
tell me, sir, when did you first notice this knot in your intestine? after you criticized your girlfriend's cooking? veddy eenteresting, yes.

From Ripe Tomato: how to make my boobs bigger off of food
take two grapefruits, stuff into bra cups. voila. don't let anyone get to second base!

From Tasukitoad: hobbit juice
Gandalf's insidious plan was nearly complete; soon he would be able to open his Hobbit Dairy! if only Google would cooperate....damn the MiddleEarthLink connection that kept dropping just has he thought he'd found the information he so desperately needed...

From Imaginated: torture devices of the past
corsets, pantaloons, petticoats, hoop skirts...what do you mean, those don't count?

From SundayGirl: forced me to wear a skirt
kindly see above

From Writer4Eva: racist cows
"...in other news, hate crimes against chickens are on the rise. Recently a flock of poultry hens was found dead in a remote alley, with a message written on the wall above them--"Finger Licking Good, My Ass," it said. Preliminary forensic tests indicate the message was written in non-homogenized milk. Back to you, Ken."