2003-03-20 - 10:46 p.m.

Greetings and all that nifty stuff. Since I'm not interested in commenting on current events, I figured I'd give y'all an opportunity to check out some new oddgoogles. Now, I don't guarantee that these will be funny, thought provoking, or even mildly amusing, but hey, any reason to avoid cleaning, right? Right!

Oh, and I'm going for quantity, not quality. Onward...

From matt : Blister and shaft and golf
Just what we need, more reasons not to play golf. Or, maybe this is the latest trend in porn... Remember to wrap it before you slap it, man.

From nisshoku : guitar finger drill
Hmmmm, power tools for the musically inclined

From joyfulgrl : convince the girl i'm worth loving
Honey, if you're going to the internet to find reasons for this girl to love you, you've got bigger problems than you thought.

From sky-blue : dude you wanna crash the mall
What He Said: "No, thank you." What He Meant: "In all honesty, I'd rather sit on a rake, nekkid, in the rain, on broadway..."

From Doc via dr-rndmprsn : marriage vowels
Seseme Street is brought to you today by the letters "I" and "O", as in "O, I never should have had that fifth shot."

From stumblebee : pink cast foot leg wrist arm ankl
If you want to know what you're going to look like after picking a fight with the bully, check it out on the internet

From astralounge : I got drunk while dressed as a girl on halloween and let him kiss me
Hey, count your blessings, some people don't get kissed at all.

From heavenlyging : life's bitch scooter
For those times when you just can't get your butt up off the ground

From ripetomato : don't cry for me porn
The real undoing of Evita...

From nesrop : prewritten emails to tell someone you love them
Man, if you're going to sell out that much, just go down to Hallmark, buy a card and scan it. Sheesh. Romance must truly be dead.